Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Almost Disastrous First Day of Work.

 So after not working in a couple Months today was my first day back in a paid role. The job is fairly easy and pays well working for the Department of Internal Affairs, unfortunately (for me) it starts at 8am. Now I'm the kind of person that routinely stays up past 3am so that doesn't give me a lot of time for sleep, so I thought to myself why not enjoy my last night of unemployment with some drinks and video games.

After a great time with my friend on Starcraft 2 team games, just jerking around but somehow still winning games I realized I was finally getting sleepy, and decided get some sleep...however I noticed that I had drunk around half my bottle of Whiskey already (1 litre bottle).
 Funny how it runs out so quickly when you're having a good time with bros over Skype on a Monday night. So after drinking some water and and setting my alarms for 6:30 I nestled in for a good 4 hours sleep. I awoke the next morning feeling strange, as 6f3in male I take my drink quite well but for the first time in a very long while I awoke with a slight headache and still felt partly drunk, which was interesting because the walk to work felt very relaxed. Hoping I wouldn't smelt of whiskey I went in to start my training.

Things were going quite well until around 10am, when I started to feel very queasy, I tried to put it out of my mind but the floor we were training on had a problem with the air conditioning and was rather stuffy. My mouth was starting to fill with saliva they way it does right before you throw up, I started to envision throwing up all over the office on my first day but tried to put it out my mind and continue working.

I excused myself at that time and said I was going out for a quick fresh air break, after entering the stairwell I saw the door to the male bathroom and felt on the verge of throwing up, I tried to enter the bathroom but it had a code lock door..

"Shit whats the code I thought" As I tore open my pockets looking for the piece of paper with the code on it. I started to type in the code, put it in and turned the lock. It wouldn't open. I did it again, and again and again. It wouldn't budge. "FUCK" I thought, "this is worse than defusing a bomb". I had no choice but to go back and ask for the code again, I tried to swipe myself back into the office but I couldn't find the thing you put your card against. I began to panic thinking what would I tell the boss if i throw up in the stairwell and had to bang on the door to let me back in. "This cant be happening, only retards in tv shows do this shit" I lamented.

 But then fortune smiled on me and someone came out, I asked them if they knew the code and they put it in for me and I was able to get into the bathroom I immediately went in and splashed water against my face, I stood there for about a minute and the coldness made me feel better. In the end I didn't throw up and was able to go back to work without incident.
Thank you merciful God.

Oh by the way, I had the right code for the door, I was turning the nob the wrong way.

PS: Ever notice how a lot of people right "paided" instead of "paid"?


  1. You got lucky there in both getting a job and not puking all over the place. :P

  2. I haven't been working for over a year can only be worse than your experience...

  3. Glad you didn't throw up on your first day. That would have been pretty bad indeed.

  4. At least you didn't vomit. That would've been awful! Silly codes! What are they hiding in their anyways? A golden toilet?

  5. should we worry about the nation's security now that you work in Internal Affairs? :PP

  6. haha lucky indeed and yeah stupid to have coded for the bathroom, athough turning it the wrong way..LMAO too funny.

  7. Haha wow. Work stories like that really make me laugh as I have had similar experiences.

  8. ha,ha I love the picture! nice! I m agre with you about pistachios here is so difficult find pistachios unsalted, why ? I dont know Im happy because I fin a place that I buy now without salt!!!

  9. I know that feeling. D:

  10. While I was reading that all I could think is it would make a good episode of a TV show! Glad you noticed it too!

    The maker of the Brady Bunch has said that many of the storys from the first season of the show were actual things that happened to his family! TV is what really happens!

  11. ever notice how people write "right" instead of "write" ?

    1. Thanks for pointing this out, sad thing is I have a degree in Linguistics now D=

  12. OMFG, that cat is so awesome!

  13. haha i also love to stay in bed until late =S
    The cat is awesome.
    hope you visit =)

  14. Wow, I had an occasion where I had to throw up but didn't make it to the washroom.

  15. I think it was a dumb move to drink half the night away before a new job but I'm glad it all worked out in the end.